5 Tips on Finding Your Mom Tribe

Motherhood brings a lot of changes. Some we expect and some we could never in a million years predict. Through all of these, the one thing that stays consistent is our need for human connection. Friendships allow us to be seen, heard, and hugged. Here are five tips on how to find and nourish your Mom Tribe:

1. Put Yourself Out There. I challenge you to connect with a local mother’s group. Don’t be nervous, it’s better than sitting at home. Show up to a playdate or an event. Try attending a local kids music class. Go to the park in your neighborhood. Talk to the person at work who seems to be in a similar stage as you. Not every mama is going to be your new BFF so the more you get out there, the sooner you’ll find your peeps.

2. Pay Attention to Your Energy: Okay, so now you are out and about trying your hardest to find your people. And you have a few new friendships forming, but sometimes you do not necessarily feel excited to connect. Pay Attention! This is your intuition talking to you. Mompetition is real. It sucks you in and before you know it your ego is sparked and the struggle is real. Back Away. This is not the right vibe for your well-being. You can work on your enoughness separately, no need to challenge yourself with a fake mom-friend. Move On. We are who we hang out with so choose wisely who is worthy of your time and energy.

3. Share The Love: Once you find some like minded women to hang around...allow yourselves to beg, borrow, and steal from each other. This could be sharing camp sign up information and/or lending ski bibs to each other. Keep inviting more mamas into the group. Not everyone will stick around, but make sure to open up the network so it can grow.

4. Be Vulnerable. Show up as your authentic self. This is the only way to free others to also be themselves. Chat with each other about your challenges, hold each other accountable for the work that needs to be done, and consistently keep it real. Share your truths and commit to evolving together.

5. Nurture Your Friendships. Give and take from each other. Nurture each other and allow yourself to be nurtured. If your children don’t mesh then don’t force it. Instead make a monthly dinner date (before, during, or after bedtime) or even a yearly girls trip. Remember friendships can last for a season, reason, or a lifetime. No matter how long, they are essential. Be the friend you want to have. 

You can also find this article on Southern Marin Mother’s Club.