It Must Be Nice

It Must Be Nice. I can’t tell you how many times this phrase has gone through my head. I still think about it even though I know that gratitude and resentment can not occupy the same space. How often do you find yourself thinking that someone has it easier or better than you, including your spouse? It could be because they have a nanny, grandparents who live in town, a successful career, the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mama...the list goes on. Why is it that even though we have everything we could ever want—it’s never enough?

The answer is two fold in my opinion. It is because Motherhood can sometimes bring feelings of resentment that are wrapped in not enoughness. These feelings truly communicate the need for us to stop and smell the roses. The beauty of our thoughts is that they are just that, thoughts. Our perceptions can be changed through awareness. You have to take a moment to realize that if you are living in resentment then you are living in missed opportunities. You too have the ability to live a fulfilled life.

So here we go again...give yourself permission to nurture yourself too. Hire a life coach, find an accountability partner, schedule weekly date nights with a mom tribe friend, find a moment each day to move and feel your body, journal, admit to yourself you need and want help, and the list goes on.  If you are mad that your husband works out every day, ask him if you can go on a walk when he gets home. If you feel like he has to travel too much for work, then find the silver lining. I have found that when my husband travels, bedtime routines are smoother. Yes, I want him home more, but I also want him to live his best life even when that means that he is away from our home more than I had anticipated. In our marriage, I am the primary caregiver. And yep, it's way more work than I thought. Maybe it is time to revisit the conversation and reassess the tasks/duties. I promise you, he wants a happy wife. And your child(ren) will be so happy when he does a school pick up a few times a month (accept now that he is going to be a superhero…just let him be).

Remember when comparison sets in it becomes the thief of everything. Look inward and count those blessings. Build your gratitude muscles while also acting within your power to change the things you can. Practice accepting the things you can't change right now, which is so much easier said than done. Motherhood is one of those unique roles in our lives where no matter how hard we try we just don’t give ourselves any slack. An abundance mentality is really the cure. Motherhood is magical, tender, and amazing but it is also hard. You are not alone in these feelings. Spend some time getting them out so you can also live your best life. And remember you are the only one in charge of your happiness. 

You can also find a version of this article on Southern Marin Mothers Club.