Setting Kind Boundaries

If there is anything that the past couple of years have provided for me, it is permission. Permission to set kind boundaries. Permission to be present. Permission to be honest about what is best for myself and my family. A year ago, many of us were deciding whether we’d even go out for dinner let alone attend a large family gathering. Hopefully you are empowering yourself to define what your new normal looks like. 

My hope for you is to set kind boundaries this holiday season for yourself and for your family. Here is the hard part though...set them regardless of the potential for negative reactions or judgements from others.

If you are a host this holiday season, here are a few tips to help you manage expectations:

1. Provide all of the details upfront
This can include anything from vaccination status to the end time of the event. I know some people think it is rude to include an end time to events, but why not? It helps guests manage their expectations. It might encourage them to arrive on time. And when that one guest is still hanging out after the kids are asleep, just kindly let them know that Mr. & Mrs. Claus have a lot to do in the next few months. Make it light and simple. It’s okay to say you are tired. 

2. Create an event timeline.
Add some fun into your event by creating a timeline. Pick a time for hors d’oeuvres, dinner, and dessert/drinks. Ask a question of the night for all guests to answer at the dinner table (this invites community and encourages everyone to listen to each other). Have them bring cookies to decorate and/or exchange. That way, like a DJ announcing the last song, they’ll know when it’s time to go because they’ve been informed. 

3. Give a hostess speech.
Whether it is a professional or personal gathering, make sure to thank everyone for coming. Take a moment to reflect on why you have brought this particular group together, what you are grateful for, and what your hope is for everyone in 2022. 

Be intentional this holiday season. Choose wisely who you share your precious time and energy with. Remember it is impossible to do it all. 

You can also find this article on Southern Marin Mother’s Club.